Heinkel: From ze "Don't Fuck Vith This" Armory?! Heinkel: Isn't zat one of ze nails zat pierced Christ's body?! (Brandishes the Nail of Helena) Would you like to speak to Him? I forgive you.Īlucard: Well, isn't that convenient? But it's not up to YOU, is it? It's up to your precious God.Īnderson: You're right. (Anderson pulls a small wooden box out of his coat)Īlucard: Oh, sweet! You've got some on ya!Īnderson: Everything you've said. (Dracula's cloak obscures the camera as Alucard's twin pistols emerge)Īlucard: Hey there, Padre! How's Little Timmy? You know what's good for getting cum stains out of altar boy robes? Holy water! Didja miss me?Īlucard: Wait, are we talking cola or cocai- (fight starts)Īlucard: Have you ever though about carbonating the blood of Christ? You know, give the kids something fizzy to drink before they wake up in an hour. (Anderson throws a couple of blades, which are countered by bullets, one of which explodes the Iscariot's left hand)ĭracula: (sighs) Very vell. do know that it's just my name spelled-Īnderson: Of course I do! (starts producing bayonets out of nowhere) Shut up and bring him out! If we're doing this, and we are doing this, I'm not gonna come swinging at Dracula. worthy opponent.Īnderson: Time the fuck out. Yet if it is my fate to fall to your blade. You face Count Dracula of Wallachia.Īnderson: Call yourself whatever you like, you crazy vampire bastard! I'm here to cleanse the earth of your filth, once and for all!ĭracula: Many have tried and failed. Maxwell: We are the congregation of a wrathful God! We shall begin a new papist succession and I shall lead us in the 9th Crusade! For I am your leader, THE NEW POPE! And after we are finished purging England of its demons and heathens.WE! WILL!ĭracula: Alucard is not here right now. Poland note which is obviously a Jewish man pretending to be Catholic, and possibly even Polish since his accent mysteriously disappears: Yeah! Perhaps we can all just agree that, maybe, Jesus wasn't the Son of God! Maxwell: And he has the gall to renounce the Old Testament as "mere stories"! "We should be more like Jesus and congregate with whores, and homosexuals, and POOR PEOPLE!" Oh, if you love them so much, why don't you fucking marry them?! You seem so OK with the concept!Ĭanada: Yeah, fuck bro! It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and another dude and they're havin' sex! Maxwell: And do not start me on the homosexuals. Mexico: Jesus was a king first! Carpenter second! Maxwell: And what does he do with the golden throne? Replaces it with a WOODEN CHAIR! Probably carved by more poor people! Italy: Thank you! Even we're sick of feeding people! And we're Italian! We are the House of God, not a fucking soup kitchen! Maxwell: That Argentinian windbag has ruined us! Prattling on and on about the poor. Maxwell: Listen up, those who have come to serve the unyielding will of our Almighty God! We have come together this night, under the glow of a London inferno, in the eyes of our Lord, for one divine reason. A true war! A German war! The sequel you've all been waiting for! What I want is a var that only we can bring. No class wars, no drug wars, no race wars, no flame wars. And vith your help over the years, ve are now at ze precipice of our true goal. Vhat I am telling you, my Nazi army of 1,000 vampires, is that I am a purveyor of war. You finally get home, und you decide to relax by watching a program about: "Who gets ze box?" "Vhat's in ze box?" "How much is what's in ze box verth?" Storage Wars. Zhen you try und post about it on your Facebook, but then all your friends start arguing about what's right und what's wrong. Drug war.īut zhen, you find out that the only ones being called in for testing are your black und Hispanic co-workers. Und you just so happened to take a puff of your one-hitter a couple nights ago before dinner with your wife's awful parents. You make it to work, und you find out that the annual drug test is today. You get up in the morning, you get into your shitty car, und you see a rich CEO who works half as hard as you do drive down the street in his Porsche. Through my life, I have discovered so many forms of war. (view returns back to the rest of the Major)
I wish to dash these rumors! I do not like war. Some of you have come to believe that I-like-war. However, before we begin our next phase, I would like to take some time to address a rumor floating around the fleet. Alucard is now exactly where we need him to be so we can move forward with our little. Operation: Bait Van Winkle is a resounding success.
0 kommentar(er)
